“He grabbed my breast and this is how I felt…”

So on a seemingly random Sunday I had volunteered to help out with a zombie versus survivor game to aid a local theatrical troupe. I ,of course, needed to campify my existence because I was actually in a personally bad mood that day.

So I did the only thing I could and dressed up in a nightie with an old lady hat and a 36DD bra and became grandma zombie for the expo.

My campiness was either accepted with an “oh you” or a “why?” but regardless of any reaction, the expo went on. But it wasn’t until after the expo had concluded that I was joking around with a couple of bikeresque acquaintances of mine. It was the typical conversation where I’d pretend I was a slutty grandma or the wife of one of the guys. There was joking and it was funny and campy but it was when he grabbed my fake breast that I actually felt bad for a second, and time kinda stopped.

It was a mixture of “why are you touching me?” and a bad feeling I couldn’t honestly describe, it felt shitty though. I instantaneously felt weak, like I was the guy at the sports game that let the team down, or I was the golden retriever that didn’t save little Timmy from the well. I was so confused why I would take something so personal as a guy as if it was my own female experience. It is a really bad helpless feeling, like the kind you experience when life mugs you and you can’t do anything but get upset; and it only lasted a second, I awkwardly laughed and let the situation end.

I am not sure why I never talked about it but I think it definitely has something to do with the shock and realization of it. It’s experiences and my innate wisdom to pick them up are tidbits of life that should be shared; instead I block them away harmful experiences like toe stubbing often gets.

I think as men, we often forget the emotional fuel that women need to do things, and just doing them to be physical or communicative can read to women as a very negative intention. This experience has taught me to be open about my body language and to just be comforting with it. Hopefully the experience you’ve read or may have practiced through role-play will yield a more open-minded and understanding life.

 

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